When S&%T Hits the Fan!
Life brings you what you least expected...what do you do?
Let’s talk about when things just do not go as planned!
Overwhelmed and not sure what the heck to do!
GLUP! I am here to share with you some thoughts on how things sometimes just do not seem to work out the way we think they should. Mostly, how to maneuver through the shit of it.
I have been on a journey these last few months of starting my business. It has been a ride to say the least and I felt it was important to share with you all something that continues to show up…
When you think things are going to work…then they don’t.
Man, it is HARD! I feel like it will be a bit easier to understand if I share a specific experience with you. Creating my business has been intense to say the least. I opened up a physical yoga studio and wellness center in Bayfield, WI in May of 2022. That in itself is a situation, as most people's response was…
“Are you going to open up a yoga studio after the pandemic? What in the world are you thinking?”
Don’t get me wrong, I thought that at times too, more times than not though I believed and still do believe it is necessary and needed in my community. I offer yoga and meditation as well as Holistic Facials, and then as I came into 2024 I began expanding my services into Functional Nutrition Therapy which is also available online!
YES!!!…and GULP!
What no one shares with you is the intensity of creating all the back end systems necessary for all the appointments, class schedules, virtual classes, etc for my customers! HOLY TIME SUCK…and honestly ... .this stuff is EXPENSIVE! So, trial and error I work through softwares and programs and systems. To make this less winded…basically I launched into a software that I believed would be all the things for me and my clients. It was a HUGE leap of faith and financial investment but I felt the need. I took the leap. Long story short…
The software was an EPIC fail!
I was crushed and I struggled through customer service and loads of thinking about what a struggle this was going to be for me and my customers. To be honest, I was more worried about my customers. To be real with you as well…I was really pissed off!
I turned to my mentors and I dumped all my woes and blues on them and step by step we broke things down and I worked through it. My yoga teacher and mentor sent me her Substack that she has just written and strangely it fell right in line with what I was needing to think about!
Read it, because it is that good and then sign up for her subscription because her writing is magic.
She writes about Prioritizing Not Knowing. This is an excerpt from her writing:
No need to know exactly how this will turn out. Who knows where support comes from as time unfolds? Continuously let down your defenses, give up the plan and listen for what’s next. Tap into your inherent emptiness. Not-knowing helps us consider other possibilities, expands our perspective.
Not-knowing helps us live every moment with innocence.
Not-knowing reminds us let go of the mental tension we create for ourselves when we crave certainty.
The central practices of not-knowing are listening and seeing, innately empty, just receiving. So we empty it all out.
-Elena Brower
This brought me back to the studies of the Three Tenets: Not Knowing, Bearing Witness, and Taking Action by the Zen Peacemakers. Not Knowing is the first of the three and these three tenets hold so much value as we walk through this super chaotic and crazy world!
I have begun to practice these tenets regularly as I work through situations just like the one I am writing about now! I am excited to give you a glimpse into these three beautiful tenets.
THE THREE TENETS: By the Zen Peacemakers
NOT KNOWING: This tenet of “Not Knowing” is realizing that everything is always in flux, nothing ever stays the same and if we can bring our awareness to this there can be a softening, and even a letting go of the tension that arises. I had no idea if the software was going to work for me, I knew the risk, and it did not pan out. I am still alive and am moving forward. I can accept the “not knowing” of all of that experience. The ability to be open to the vast openness as to what can show up really does allow us to move through this world with a bit more grace.
BEARING WITNESS: By being aware of thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise and move through us is “Bearing Witness”. Not easy, in fact, this is the one that can offer the most challenge, as our society is very good at teaching us to ignore, toughen up, or simply just move on without really recognizing what is taking place on a deeper level. As we practice this tenet, we begin to experience an openness and a stability and we can recognize a choice in our responses to what is arising in and around us.
“A wise old tale often attributed to the Cherokee warns that when many demons are struggling inside you, the one that you feed is the one that will become the strongest. You alone are responsible for what you feed.”
-The Three Tenets
When we choose to Bear Witness we are actively choosing to be engaged, even when it is the big struggles that are scary and hard. We are given the opportunity to find center and live fully alive.
TAKING ACTION: The last tenet is “Taking Action”. This may seem so elementary, but really it is about staying aware of the first two tenets and being intentional in those practices, allowing us to see the action that will arise in front of us if we are paying attention. The main purpose here, is that whatever action we take is with loving kindness and care. Moving through this intentionally, you will know your decisions are the best fit for the situation.
I knew I was working through my dilemma with the software in a rough and tough way, so reaching out to my mentors and recognizing these tenets made a 180 switch for me. I knew there needed to be acceptance of not knowing what was going to happen. I began to Bear Witness to the emotions of frustration, anger, fear, and sadness were rising in me. I really did notice a shift as I started to pay attention to all of those thoughts and feelings. I was able to take action and make a shift to moving onto something else. Finding new resources and trusting that I had the strength and the knowledge to move forward. All of this knowing that I have NO IDEA what will happen next and where this entrepreneur life is going to take me.
I invite you to read those tenets a few times, and maybe reflect on them. Can you think of a situation in your life where you could have applied them? How would it have changed? Grab your journal and write them down. Have them close by and see if you can offer these into your life the next time you feel like it is just not working out the way you planned!