Dysregulation
Navigating through a messy world...and I don't think it is just me.
Welcome to my Substack, Food for Thought.
I’m here to walk with you on this health journey. I guide you through the twists and turns of an ever-changing body.
I help you shift, change, and grow.
I want you to feel safe, find joy, and heal from the inside out.
I want you to feel nourished.
Dysregulation.
What does it mean?
Definition: noun: abnormality or impairment in the regulation of a metabolic, physiological, or psychological process."family dysfunction may contribute to emotional dysregulation"
In our world, in our lives, in our loved ones, in our bodies, our minds, in every aspect of who we are right now this is a word that seems to be continuing to linger in my own heart, mind, and my whole world.
This word has played a role in my life, being neurodivergent this is not an uncommon feeling to be dysregulated ... .or to easily get dysregulated. The simplest of things could throw me off and take me down a path of unproductive behaviors like the death scroll of instagram….ugh man, that one is a real demon for me! Yikes!
Now, being a year into my cancer journey, I am more dysregulated than ever before. You can also throw in a side dish of a totally messed up country that we are living in… it makes me think…
Everyone must be feeling this way….even those neurotypical peeps in my life as well! 🙂
Ugh, this really sucks. I wish I had a nicer way of saying it, but sometimes we just have to lay it out there, be a straight shooter.
How to come together and support each other as we travel this very unsettled life we are living. Each one of us has a different journey, story, or experience that shapes us. Makes us who we are as a human, and when in the thick of struggle, “who we are” can come into question. At least for me, I am deeply feeling this right now. The divisiveness, the stresses of finances, raising our children, finding a job, keeping a job, and staying healthy, all starts to take a toll on our human-ness. It is incredibly hard to see what is next. What is the step that best fits with who we are right now?
I know I am working through something deep with cancer. I know it is shaking up my inner self in a way that is not possible to put into words. Some days it takes every bit of being to be ok with healing slowly, and not being able to find my normal…and a lot of times I want what was normal before cancer.
My body is weaker, and it is sore! It is healing, slowly healing. The radiation has caused my left breast to be like a solid tough mass and the right breast is just hanging around like nothing happened. They are not the same. I knew they would not be. My plastic surgeon told me that would be the case. Nonetheless, it's unsettling to know that I have gone through ALL THESE surgeries, radiation, and treatments, and in the end….my boobs are not the same. I talked about this in my previous substack. Can you tell I am still coming to terms with this one!
My skin on my face is stinking pissed at me, and I am fighting daily to try and resolve why my face is rashed out most of the day. Am I detoxing? Or, am I not detoxing enough? Am I allergic to skincare, supplements, food? Which food? Which supplement….currently I feel like I am my own personal dispensary with about 10-15 different supplements throughout my day….which freakin’ one? Or, is it emotional? My liver is the organ of anger…so there is that. Talk about something that has taken me down a huge path of dysregulation…on the daily!
That is not possible. What I was before, I am no longer.
That in itself is so dysregulating. What in the world do I do with that? My body is not what it was before…that is not just the cancer…lets be honest, I am a 48 year old woman in the depths of perimenaupause…there is NO WAY I am the same as I was when I was 30. 😉
I even find that this particular substack is a bit dysregulated.
For me it is this particular cancer journey mixed with teenagers, closing a studio, starting to teach yoga and nutrition again in a way that aligns, staying connected with Michael, finding time with friends and family….I know you can relate. You have your own human journey of struggles, passions, realities, and relationships that you are also juggling.
So, today we are going to honor dysregulation.
I am writing about this today because I want to let you all know that each day it takes every fiber of your being to be human. To find your human-ness could be easy as pie one day and then like crawling out of a mud pit the next. How can we take steps forward when every day feels like a grind and even makes you feel as if you are taking steps backwards…or falling flat on your face?
I could sit here and list the healthy foods, or the best supplement, or what is the best exercise, meditation or grounding movement to make to get you into a more regulated state….which I will still probably give you some tips, but right now I just want to take a hot second and pause to recognize your own human chaos and hold some space just for you.
I see you. I feel you. You too are human, and this ride we are on…life….is hard.
What if we were able to start to recognize that dysregulation and honor it a bit more? Bear with me here, I am not going to give you some woo woo recipe to heal. I am going to give you permission to be in it. To pause.
Yes, to pause.
I know you all read this and think initially..I do not have time for this shit! I gotta get my kids to dance and soccer. I have deadlines and food to cook. I know you do, and so do I.
You do have 5 min. I know you do.
Some of us can go into the bathroom and lock the door for 5 mins. So, if that is what you need to do…I give you permission to do just that. Lock yourself in the bathroom, my friend!
This pause is for you to just feel it. FEEL IT! Feel all of it, recognize all the sensations in your body. No need to rationalize or have your mind tell you what to do. You can simply just be aware of all the feelings and sensations throughout your body and breathe.
Breathe.
Ok, so I am going to leave you with a small tidbit of love and support….I can not help it! It has done wonders for me and I am feeling the need to share with all of you. We are all humans supporting humans through a time that feels terribly dysregulated…so it is the least I can do.
I am reading Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance (which to be honest, you should download or buy it, because it is that good!) and continue to return to this practice over and over again.
The power of pause.
The Sacred Pause (A Guided Meditation, page 67, Radical Acceptance)
Choose a time when you are involved in a goal oriented activity-reading, working on the computer, cleaning, eating-and explore pausing for a moment or two. Begin by discontinuing what you are doing, sitting comfortably and allowing your eyes to close. Take a few deep breaths and with each exhale let go of any worries or thoughts about what you are doing to do next; let go any tightness in the body.
Now notice what you are experiencing as you inhabit the pause. What sensations are you aware of in your body? Do you feel anxious or restless as you try to step out of your mental stories? Do you feel pulled to resume your activity? Can you simply allow, for this moment, whatever is happening inside you?
This Sacred Pause can be done while sitting, laying down, or even walking. Allow yourself to pause internally and then allow yourself to pause and find breath. The moments when you are stuck or disconnected use this simple exercise.
If you even just take away that you are not alone in this world of chaos right now, then I have done my job with this substack. Know that you are loved during this bizarre time and know that you have the ability to honor yourself in the struggle.
With love and joy!
I am excited to return to teaching!! Who is going to join me for some great opportunities to do yoga together?
YOGA CLASSES
Yoga Conditioning + MFR 5 Week Series at Gritty Fish: Mondays at 6 pm starting May 12th! Sign Up HERE for the series!
Subtle to Strong Yoga at Washburn Meditation Center: Fridays @ 8 am starting May 23rd! Visit Here for details!
Subtle to Strong Yoga at Moss and Stone Yoga in Bayfield coming soon!! Stay tuned!
FACIALS
This is super fun too, are you ready? I am going to be taking Facial Clients at Superior Body and Massage in Bayfield this summer! I am so excited to be working with this amazing group of people! I will be taking clients starting mid may! So, visit HERE to book your appointment!
FUNCTIONAL NUTRITION THERAPY
Working with me, we take a bio-individual approach to your healing. We will identify and support the body’s innate ability to heal by addressing the importance of nutrient-dense food + lifestyle choices, movement + meditation, and how social + personal components influence your health and healing. Let’s work together! Visit HERE to learn more and book a complimentary 30 min consult with me!